Simple to Smart in 5 short years!

“HOLY S&%T,” I thought. “This guy can’t be here. Could he be gayer?”
That’s pretty much how my first “gay experience” went in the Army. Actually, that was my first gay experience ever.

To paint that picture more fully let me give you a little bit of background information concerning who I was and who I think I’ve become because of my experiences serving with gay service members.


Who I Was:

I’m from a small town of about 1,000 people in southeastern Nebraska called Friend. Yes I’m serious; the name of my hometown is Friend. The local climate there is not what I would call “cosmopolitan.” People there vote republican whether it helps them or not, and social issues never seem to be issues there. Whenever a social issue comes up like abortion, homosexuality, or civil rights there’s not really any debate; more of a rally. A lot of backslapping and “’at a boys” to go around.

Growing up, my friends and I used colorful descriptive language like “fag”, “homo”, and “queer” to describe things that we thought were bad in some way. We caught fireflies in jars in July, sat on our front porches during the summer, and greeted everybody we came across all year long. (Because we knew everybody we came across). This was life in Friend. Picture perfect and without social strife.

Issues couldn’t affect us out there. We didn’t have any diversity to cope with so we could easily keep tough questions at arm’s distance. Questions like: “Why should or shouldn’t gays be allowed to serve in the military?” “Is homosexuality contagious?” and “What about showering with gays?” To be fair we tackled these questions, but as one might imagine the answers were most often unanimous and necessarily based on irrational notions. “Fags shouldn’t serve in the military because they’re in such tight spaces with other people,” “Queerness is certainly contagious…it’s a choice that they can convince you to make,” “Showering with homos is dangerous because they’ll try to rape you.”

In addition to all of the aforementioned attributes I had some other qualities as well. I’ve always felt a strong call to serve my country and humanity, to stand up for those that can’t stand up for themselves, to fight injustice even at the price of social discomfort, and to always push myself out of my comfort zone for the sake of personal growth. These qualities must have been stronger because they certainly triumphed over my ignorance on issues concerning gays.


Who I’ve Become:

Well after 5 years of active duty and largely because of serving with openly gay service members I’m proud to say I’m a better person. I have come a long ways from my days growing up in Friend Nebraska. While I was growing up I was barely aware of gays at all, and the awareness I did have was based on hazy notions that had no rational basis whatsoever.

I have grown much as a person and an American. As a person I not only see that gays are equal in worth and dignity to me as a humans, but are just as capable of patriotism, loyalty, service, duty, and honor as anybody. As an American I had the opportunity to live and grow in the values that the United States was founded on: tolerance, acceptance, and equality. I pushed myself to face my fears and conquer them and for that I believe I have become a better person and a better American. I do not believe I could have served my country better.


I know I’ve skimmed over the “growing process” pretty quickly, but I did that for a reason. I’ve got a lot of stories to tell you over the next several weeks that exemplify humorously, painfully, and passionately what I went through to become this better person I claim to be.

I want to provide not just answers, but stories to back up my answers to the tough questions. The questions I mentioned before like: the service question, the shower question, the contagious question, and more. And if you haven’t already noticed I plan to do this in a very honesty, unorthodox, edgy, and somewhat irreverent way because that’s the way I experienced it all.

So stick with me folks. We’re going to get through this and we’re going to have a lot of fun doing it.